It was no surprise to me that Payton's first birthday brought me many mixed emotions. When I reflect on this past year, and look at how happy, healthy, sweet, and loving little Payton is today, I am nothing shy of estatic and grateful to God for the MANY blessings, challenges, happiness, and love that he is showing us in the form of this precious little girl! However, like all parents, I am also a little sad that this year went by SO fast, and that my baby is growing up! I guess that's the selfishness in me, realizing that I will never again get to see or hold Payton as that innocent, helpless, and fragile little newborn.
Ryan and I also kind of looked at Payton's first birthday as some what of a mini celebration for making it through that first year of parenthood. Boy have we learned a lot! I thought it would be neat to take note of what we feel were some of the most important aspects of parenting and important lessons we have learned as we first embarked on this journey a year ago. Hopefully, when it comes time for baby #2, or when we are having one of those "challenging" parental moments, we can look back at this and remember what the important things really are!!
1) As a young married couple, God continues to guide us, mold us, teach us, and re-direct us daily when it comes to parenting. Therefore, first and far most, we have grown to realize that the most important component to our parenting experience so far, has been having God play an active role in this whole process. I really feel that he teaches us through our challenges and provides us direction, peace, and guidance when we need it most! He has helped our marriage grow stronger through the difficult times and has brought us closer to Him through it all! I have been told by many experienced parents that the challenges only become greater as your children grow, so the MOST important lesson we have learned is to make and continue to make Christ the center of our home! Without him, I don't know where we would be!!
2)The second most important thing that I have learned is that it's OK to ask for help!! I sometimes laugh at the mentality that I had when people would talk to me about parenting when I was pregnant. They would say things like, "Enjoy your free time now, and enjoy getting to sleep all night! Call us if you ever need someone to come help out during the day." I remember thinking, don't these people know that I can handle this? I mean, there were many times I pulled all nighters in college! I can function just fine on no sleep, and of COURSE I can handle a newborn. It's just one baby, and I am used to handling a classroom full of 30 plus kids on a daily basis. These people just don't realize what I'm used to handling. HAHAHAHA!!! I laugh so much at that now! Of course I pulled all nighters in college; we all did- when you could sleep in the next morning and knew that you were guaranteed a good night's sleep the following night! There is definitely NO sleeping in with a newborn, and as a parent of a young baby, you never know when, if ever, your next night of good sleep may be. Also, being responsible for a room full of children for only a certain period everyday is nothing like the 24-7 responsibility of having your own! Don't get me wrong, the blessings, joys, and happiness of a young baby FAR outweigh these challenges, but my life went a lot smoother as soon as I realized that it was ok to admit that I needed some help! I have never appreciated or been more thankful for my own mom as much as I have this first year of Payton's life! She has helped me so much, and I don't know what I'd do without her! Grandparents are GREAT in so many ways!
3) Another important lesson we have learned is that you don't always have to play by the rules and don't sweat the small stuff. I used to stress myself out in the beginning when Payton was 2 months old and not yet sleeping in her own crib, or when she was 6 months old and wouldn't eat an ounce of baby food. After trying Payton in her crib several nights when she was that young and getting up every hour to rush across the house into her room to check on her or to simply pop her paci back in her mouth, I finally thought to myself, this is crazy!! Honestly, the most important thing in my opinion when it comes to sleep is to do what you need to do so that everyone in your family gets adequate rest. For some families, that probably means having your baby sleep in their room! That's great and perfectly fine! For me, that meant having Payton stay next to us for a little while longer. That's great and perfectly fine too, and truth be told, she still sleeps in her pack in play next to us most nights now. However, I am less stressed and able to sleep better, and that's worth it to me!!
4) Housework and laundry CAN wait! Unfortunately, I DO promise they wont magically disappear! Lol!! I also used to get down on myself for not being able to always have a spic and span house. I thought, "now holly, you only have ONE baby, and you are always home most of the day, there is no reason why dinner shouldn't be made every night and no reason why the house shouldn't be picked up and laundry put away." In the beginning, this mentality found me staying up late to make sure everything was in order, and a lot of the time, missing out on family time with Ryan and Payton. Yes, I do feel like it is my responsibility to keep an orderly home and to have meals for my family. However, sometimes spending time together as a family of an evening is more important. Unfortunately, Having Payton at home isn't going to last forever! :(
5) The last important lesson we learned quickly is how valuable it is to always be a team with your spouse. It is so easy to want to play the blame game when things go wrong, and it is just in our human nature to want to take out our stress and frustrations on the people we are closest to. However, we have learned that the quicker we can quit doing these things, the faster things get accomplished and the smoother things seem to run. After all, God designed us to do this TOGETHER! I truly feel that Ryan and I both fulfill different needs of Payton in different ways, so if we remember to always work together, we will hopefully be guiding, directing, and raising Payton to be the Godly woman that Christ has designed for her to be.
These are just a few of the MANY lessons we have grown to learn throughout this first year of parenting. Having Payton in our lives has been nothing but a blessing since day 1, and we are so excited to celebrate many other birthdays with her!! She continues to change and grow so much each day! We still aren't walking yet, but she is SO close! In a way, I am perfectly fine with her taking her sweet time. I am sure she'll be running all over the place long before we're ready!
Payton Elaine - Happy first birthday sweetheart! You have blessed us in SO many ways and continue to bring so much joy and happiness to our lives each and everyday! We love you!!!
